University Etiquette Men a Game Called Adulting Surviving the Parent Company

Outclass the Competition
by Harold Almon

In growing up you will master a game called Adulting. Adulting requires that you have a will to survive where you are. Survival could depend on your ability to state what the truth is, in terms of new opposites, which is to say what the truth is not. Learn to say, "It is not fair," "I am not wrong," or "I am not happy."

You will learn not to say "I am right," or "I am innocent." You do not have to be right. Subordinates get fired for being right. Being right never provides the power to change anything. Being right rarely means you get advanced, your desired action, or even that you get your place back.

You may say, "You feel I am not right," or "You feel I am not innocent." Ask, "Can we talk about it?" "O.K?" "Later?" "Please?" In business, say, "I am not happy." Add, "I'd like to have my place and controls defined." "If you and I are ever going to agree on what is good, we need to talk," or "I'd like to see about a career broadening position. Can you see what you can do for me?"

In adulting, if what you say is said in terms of new opposites: what it is "Not," the authority does not have to act, but cannot say, "I never knew." All that saying "Not" does is allows a desired action to be stated, and a dissenting opinion to be investigated.

A Game Called Good-bye

In home training, someone will say, "Do not talk to him or her like that, that is your mother, uncle, or brother. When you get a home, car, or apartment of your own, you can run it any way you want." On your own, you can be in charge and free. To do this some move, some marry, and some unmarry. Somewhere there is a game called "Goodbye."

In business, you will be told, "That is So and so's area. I'll have to let him or her handle that." "This is my shop, if you do not like it - leave," or "We called a meeting, and everyone who attended agreed your request for your desired action is a luxury this company cannot afford."

Your mind will give birth to a home remedy, a "Policy reason for leaving.” The number one acceptable reason for leaving any business is, "Money" - more of it. It appeals to the spirit of accomplishment in an authority, even when that someone wants you to stay.

The number two acceptable reason for leaving is "School," and number three is, "Career broadening," or "To spend time with my family." A lesser acceptable reason for leaving is "A differing in philosophy,” the old version of number three.

You have a desired action - to be treated equal, well, or to leave. Using cited reasons for leaving will not make you a hero, but it will make coming back not hard, and being where you are just, "Not" easy.