University Etiquette Men's Essential Etiquette

Outclass the Competition baesoe.com
Harold Almon Etiquette Coach

Be at Ease School of Etiquette Austin

Men’s Personal Grooming and                                             In US
Men's Business Etiquette to Know       ISBN 978-0-917921-44-5

                    
Professional and Graduate
University Etiquette
Men’s Business Body Grooming

Male Care Matters                               

Things to Do

Things Expected from the Male Half

Things Someone Will Tell a
Graduate Student Son.

An At Ease Press Etiquette Guide                     

A Be at Ease School of Etiquette Course Guide           

(80)

Text by

Harold Almon

Published by

At Ease Press schoolofetiquette@ateasepress.com 

University Grooming Etiquette Business Social Etiquette

Men's Business Etiquette 

Professional  and Graduate
University Grooming Etiquette

Traditions Governing

Social Behavior

Cool Rules to Know

An At Ease Press Guide

A Be at Ease School of Etiquette Course Guide

(55)

Text by

Harold Almon

Published by

At Ease Press baesoe.com

All rights reserved including the right to reproduce this book, or parts thereof, in any form, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

ISBN 978-0-917921-12-4

Copyright (c) 2016

Printed in the United States of America

Text by

Harold Almon

Foreword

Business Social Etiquette Lessons for College and University Students is a book about traditions governing everyday business social behavior - cool rules to know.

“Do not hate the player or the game.

Hate (having the talent, and)

Not knowing the rules.”

Those who have talent and execute the rules best wins.

Etiquette: considerations that delay the inevitability of war and license whereby someone may sue for peace.

Traditions

Before you agree to stay, there are rules about tradition: how you get approval that someone really meant to tell you. There are things you want to remember, and enjoy, and games you want to know how to play.

In home training, there were comments made to you from someone like me: “Why can not you be more like Johnny?” There were tests, and gold stars. There was allowance and permission. There was being grounded and there were other forms of adult imposed punishment. And there was the knowledge that when you got a car, home, or a business, of your very own, you could run each - anyway you wanted. Gold stars were given based on how well you could test. Performance was rated not based on "Hard work," but on "Good work,” how well a job is thought to have been done: approval.

In business, (in the place you are now,) no one makes comments anymore, but they still speak fondly of Johnny. There are still gold stars, given based on tests. There is still performance and approval. There is unhired, and there are still other forms of adult imposed punishment. If you are lucky, someone will tell you about consideration, that when you get “one” of your very own, playing by the rules - is no less a requirement. Staying is based on approval and personality: how well you play.

University Etiquette Notes on Handshaking - Men's Etiquette

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by Harold Almon baesoe.com

In business, a handshake is used to respond to an introduction. It can be used as a sign of acceptance, of a person’s pledge to keep a given word, or as a way to say, “Hello,” or “Thank you.” Be ready to shake hands when someone comes into an office from the outside, and when being introduced to strangers. (Avoid reaching across a table to shake hands, where possible.) Be prepared to shake hands at the ends of meetings, when saying goodbye for the first time, and when leaving a gathering.

A senior person is to be allowed to bow, or to smile, instead of offering to shake hands. A junior person is to follow suit, but if the junior person offers a hand, the senior person is to give his or her hand to that person. Handshaking is to be accomplished right thumb-web to right thumb-web. You can press the space between the web and the index finger. Do this with warmth and with reserved strength. Look into the face of the person whose hand has been received. Gently pump the hand up and down two to three times. Hold it for no more than two to three seconds.

Formally, a man is to bow as he shakes hands. Informally a hand offered may be clasped with two hands. A hand may be clasped, and part of a junior person’s arm may be grasped. In some circles, a hug may be performed in lieu of, or in conjunction with, a handshake. Socially, a woman may shake a hand, (knuckle to knuckle) and then let go. Be aware of this. Shake her hand more than she shakes backs. Always be mindful of rings.

More notes are available.

University Etiquette When to Get Up Business Social Etiquette

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by Harold Almonbaesoe.com

In a business, a person is to get up to be introduced, and at the conclusion of a meeting. A man is to stand whenever a senior person, visitor, or a woman enters a room. This action is normally omitted in regards to an immediate supervisor, co-worker, or when you are ill, or old. A receptionist or a secretary is usually not expected to rise to greet each caller, but may do so as a mark of honor or friendship. Remain standing as long as a senior person does, or until you are specifically asked to do otherwise. Remain standing as long as any man or peer who is talking remains standing. A more senior person can avoid getting up to greet a job applicant for a non-executive position. This person may rise for a junior person at a first interview, and at a last interview when an employee is leaving an organization. Stand, if a woman comes to, or is brought to, your desk or table. Stand as long as any woman near is standing (even when asked to do otherwise). Stand to answer any woman who addresses a remark. Stand the entire time anyone in your party is engaged in conversation with a woman at your table, no matter how long. You can even eat standing. (You may omit standing, when a woman who is working in public comes to your table, unless she is also a close friend.) In a private home, get up every time a woman enters a room. Remain standing as long as any woman near does, or until specifically asked to do otherwise. When there are more than twelve guests in the room, rise only when a woman joins your group.

There is more...

University Etiquette Male Changes and Check Ups Men's Personal Grooming and Etiquette

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by Harold Almon baesoe.com

Make changes to your physical appearance, when any abnormality or disfiguring flaw makes you miserable, or make it your trademark and do nothing about it.

Report all herbs, medicines, and supplements you are taking to your pharmacist. Have them logged into a computer. Update this list. With each new prescription ask, “Can I take grapefruit juice with that.”

Get an itch on your body, rub a cut tomato on it, let it sit. Yeah it work, no..shh…. Olive oil and salt can do the same thing.

Get an itch in your groin area (a sign that you are maybe a jock), get a medicine. Get an itch in your feet (a sign you are an athlete,) get a medicine. Both jock itch and Athlete's feet are treatable, and are something you can talk about freely with friends, family, your doctor, and pharmacist. Other subjects you may discuss can concern flatulence, tail itch, hemorrhoids, and testicular lumps. (You are not alone.)

If it drips, trickles, burns, sprouts, or smells, if emissions are anything but white or clear, get to a health care center, or to your doctor; get each item checked. Know this; there is a cure for that. “And there is a reason not to go barefoot in a barn yard.”

Once a year get a complete medical checkup. Come here. Your skin is an organ. Once a year, have it professionally checked. Learn how to check for testicular cancer and breast cancer; men are dying but to know. You can ask for and maintain a copy of each of your health and medical records.

Have a check list of questions to ask your doctor. It is your job to keep your body up to date, and to decide what you will and will not take.

It can be your job to spearhead the quest for a discovery of a cure. Medicine knows the money is in the maintenance and secondary sales. You can French press coffee and never as much as look for a paper filter. Pick the things on which you will allow yourself to be dependant. Single source the list of all your pharmaceuticals.

________

Midsection Muscle Management

Manage the muscles in your mid-section. If you keep announcing that you are going to the gym. And you get naked and do not look like you have been. Someone may ask that you stop carrying that bag. We are judged by our midsection. Midsection muscle management could be as simple as using light weights, fewer than five pounds per hand, and looking up or down as you are pushing it in. You might rock back and forth and be fit by the force of wind®.

University Etiquette Male Bathroom "WC" Conduct Men's Personal Grooming and Etiquette

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Harold Almon (512) 281-2699

The trip can begin with the statement, “I’ll be right back, or with the question, “Where can I wash my hands?” This phrase only works in the USA. Outside of its where is the “WC.” wash closet: a room containing a toilet and often a wash bowl. Always sit down when using the toilet in a private home. Upon entering the bathroom, lock the door. Turn on the light. You can turn on the water, if you are well bred or just shy.

Remember the sign, "Gentleman, consider yourself at home now, and please, sit down. If you must stand, prove you are neat - straddle the bowl, in your bare feet. Be at ease. Sit down." Scoot forward. Point yourself to the side toilet wall. (It is the silent way to go.)

When you elect to stand, place tissue between seat and the rim and lift up the seat. Flush as you go. Get new tissue and blot yourself. Blotting residue is easier than wearing it, I assure you. Remember to flush, and to put the seat down from the top, when you are finished. If you dirty the seat or the floor (and you will), search for paper toweling or tissue, and the Windex or Lysol spray hidden behind the toilet, and clean it. Next time remember the sign. You can sanitize a seat with the 91% rubbing alcohol you keep in your drawer.

When you are seated longer, remember the rules for a dry wipe: get paper, pick up and off as much as you can away from you.

Then fold the paper and wipe yourself twice: more than one finger, more than one time, one finger at a time. Look at the paper; toss it. Repeat the process until it is clean. After, you can stand up, wait thirty seconds, lift the toilet seat up with new tissue, place one foot on the toilet bowl, and with fresh paper check again. You may spread you legs, bend over and down, and check. Better to find out now than later. If you are foul, get new paper, and wipe in the opposite direction; toss it. You are done, when you are clean. You may do this again just prior to your bath or shower.) You could wet the tip of folded paper with water from the sink; or flush and dip the tip into clean flowing water, blot and wipe yourself. You might elect to wipe using tissue and a lotion. Anything left you get to wear. There is no such thing as a dry wipe. You would not do it to a baby. Baby yourself.

After difficult times, get new paper and wipe under toilet seat, and in the toilet wipe away any residue. Flush or trash this paper. Thank you. Strive to eliminate any odor not considered desirable in a bathroom environment. You can hold a blown out sulfur match until the smoke dissipates, and then deposit it in an ashtray or in the toilet and flush it. Only first, you have to find out who still makes a sulfur match.

You may search for and use Lysol® air freshener. Spray under the seat. Spray the water in short bursts. Then flush. Step back and wait thirty seconds, (it works.) You could spray each with a breath spray. As a last resort, you could wipe the seat and under the bowl with 91% alcohol.

Wash your hands. Turn on the faucet at least once while in the bathroom. Wet the soap, if only to make someone believe that before leaving the bathroom you really did use it. It may be easier to wash your hands really. Use cold water and soap. Wet your hands. Wash each by agitating one against the other. Rinse them. You may wash your hands with hydrogen peroxide alone or with a hand sanitizer, anytime you wish. Clean under each fingernail from the tip to each under skin. Use a fingernail on one hand to clean behind the fingernails on the other hand. At home, this action may be done using a fingernail brush. Inspect your nails and repeat the process or relax and enjoy them. Hands are to be washed each time after you finish in the bathroom. This action will help someone decide if you are to help with the dishes or to eat off paper plates. You can use a tissue or a paper towel to turn off the water. You may use the same paper to open the bathroom door. Leave the bathroom ready to receive the next person. Before leaving the bathroom, you could take another paper towel and wipe the mirror, sink and the faucet. You might use 91% alcohol to do this and leave each item shining. Wipe the floor as required. Get new paper and wipe the top of the toilet seat, and the space just behind it, and place any trash in a receptacle. Bless you. The statement to use for someone who is making the trip may be, “Let me see (if so & so is in,) “I think that (he or she) has just stepped out.”

Note: The guide is a breach of etiquette: The rule: “What is done behind the door of a bathroom is private.” And, yes it is, until another person is listening, enters the room, or smells you.

Male Bathroom Cleaning Men's Business Personal Grooming Professional & University Etiquette

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by Harold Almon baesoe.com
Be at Ease School of Etiquette Austin

Men any tub leavings made by soap and hot water, can be cleaned with a rag and the same soap and cold water. No reason for leaving your leavings.

Before leaving the bathroom, cup any lit candle with the back of your hand and blow it out. Take a paper towel and wipe the mirror dry. You can wipe the rest down with 91% alcohol. It will clean counters and make fixtures shine. Take more; dry the floor. Put the used paper towel in the trashcan. Leave the bathroom ready to receive the next person, or for the next time.

Place your personal items on a tray, bucket, or container. Take it out of the bathroom; take your towel with you. Leave the door open.

Store your items in a drawer in your room, or in your gym bag. You can fold your towel in half, place it over a hanger, and take it to the designated place where it is to dry.

Once dry you may place it in a hamper, or hang it on a rack in your room, or behind the closet door, to use for one more day.

For general cleaning on the bathroom you can wait until the weekend.

University Etiquette Male Deodorant Smelling Too Good - Men's Personal Grooming and Men's Essential Etiquette

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By  Harold Almon baesoe.com/

Have a deodorant of choice. Consider its use as mandatory. You can apply one before going to bed. After a few days, this action will show daytime benefit. If your armpits become irritated switch scents before switching labels.

You may use White vinegar instead of a deodorant. You could use 91% rubbing alcohol. Do this with a cloth or cotton ball. You might use lemon juice. Additionally a body powder or a body lotion has been seen used to assist in combating overall body odor. Avoid antiperspirants.

Have a scent of your own. Eat leafy vegetables. You can eat parsley, chopped in salad, with or with out lemon over it. It may assist in giving your body a clean musty scent. You could wear matched toiletries in the same scent.

You might shop for odor free toiletries and top off unscented items with a spray of a light scent of cologne. Hold the bottle twelve inches away. Spray, and then walk into it. Even an animal does not spray itself intentionally-much.

Want more? At night, you might spray away from the back of your knees, or the panels to your bedroom door. Know this; too much of your cologne could be hazardous to other people’s health. There is such a thing as being too clean and smelling too good, but generally people will forgive you.

Forget one of these actions, and someone will remember that there was something they really did mean to tell you. At home, you can forgo deodorant for the last day before your weekend, and just rinse. For social reasons you may want to develop a natural musky scent.

Remember after three days fresh bodies and fish begin to stink; back to deodorant, or to what you use as a deodorant. Avoid Body odor being the number one turn-off listed by people who used to know you. Know that the use of too much cologne could be listed as turn-off number three.

Old Spice works still because daddies wear it. A son does well to make use of his Father’s Christmas present.

You can elect to have a natural scent. You may attract and mark someone with it. It may be a funky signature scent for which someone could remember you, or recall your past presence. Avoid it being just funk.

University Etiquette Men's Grooming Hair Care Shaving Down There Men's Personal Grooming and Men's Essential Etiquette

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by Harold Almon baesoe.com 

Clean your outer ears with your wash cloth and then again with a cotton-tipped swab. Place nothing into your inner ear smaller than your elbow. Have any ear wax removed by a professional or by directions from one. (Get earplugs for your nightlife.) Get a pair of tweezers. Remove sprouting hairs once a week. Inside your ears, hair removal is to be done by you, a professional, or by a friend.

Next, look into a mirror. Squint your eyes and flare your nostrils. Do a pig-poke; turn your head to the side. Push up the tip of your nose. Look for any hairs that protrude from in or under it. Tweeze them out or nip them with a cuticle scissors, or trim/trowel them out with a disposable razor. Come here.

You can go on and shave hair on your chest. You may have someone shave hair off your back. This requires the assistance of an assistant. It is to be shaved (the way it grows.) Exfoliate 24 hours after skin is made bare. You can augment this with a waxing of any ingrown hairs.

A clipper can be used to shave hair en masse. A spread of cream or aloe gel may be placed on the hair to facilitate it being shaved with a double bladed razor. Implement blades are to be cleaned with 91% alcohol.

You can shave down there. All hair below your mid-section may be shaved with or without a lubricant. (It is just that soft.) You could experience mild discomfort in the form of an ingrown hair. You might tweeze it or let it go away naturally. You may shave down there while seated on your throne or chair.

Shaving down there can provide a lowered temperature. It may give an extra dose of hormone. It could make you more virile. It might improve blood circulation (to the genitals.) You can place a water-based lotion on this area. In more than one part of the world male hair below the mid-section is shaved every day. At a public bath, there could be a visual advantage. Fewer people will mysteriously think that you are unsanitary or stink. Avoid waxing, the look you are going for is new man not new born. In the United States of America, you might leave a top patch (and go macho.)

Leg hair can be shaved. Prior to doing this skin is to be wet. Then you can apply a shaving cream or lotion. A dual edge blade may provide an efficient shave. The leg is then to be rinsed and dried. Moisturizer can now be applied. Removing sprouting hair can be done by electrolysis. It may be done by laser, but where?

There is aerodynamic advantage to bare shin. It can make for a more pleasant massage. It may be a necessity for a sport or a profession. It has been seen to help make some swim faster.

Male Shaving Saving Face Men's Personal Grooming and Men's Essential Etiquette

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by Harold Almon
Be at Ease School of Etiquette Austin
512-821-2699

Men when you shave, prepare your skin. A hot moist towel can assist this process. Then apply a lubricant to protect your face. It can be a body lotion, 91% alcohol, a shaving cream, an electric shaving gel, or soap. To shave, use a clean sharp razor. Shave in one direction, the direction your hair grows. A shave is only supposed to make your face smooth in one direction. Pick a point that will be the end of one sideburn, and in even light smooth one inch strokes bring the razor down over the face following the line of the chin bone. Remove the rest of the face hair, in a like fashion. You can wet your razor, and rinse it often, (unless of course it is electric.)

Gently whack the handle against the sink to remove hair build up. Place the blade under the faucet. Turn the water on and off. The neck hair on the left side of the face is to be removed by picking a point on what will be the neck hair line, and going up the neck, in smooth even strokes, to the chin hairline. To affect this you can use your thumb and/or index finger to stretch the skin. The neck hair on the right side can be removed in the same manner.

It may be removed by picking a point on the chin line and going down the neck in smooth even strokes to what will be the neck hairline. Use the same motions each time you shave. You may shave once with a blade, and then again with an electric razor. You could now use that moist towel to wipe off your face any residue whiskers or lubricant you used.

For picture taking, shave up to three times. Allow a five minute interval between each shave. Practice before picture taking day. At other times, strive for a shave that is smooth over one which is close.

Rinse your face after shaving. Wipe your face with a face cloth, or with a paper towel, depending on the damage you have done. Feel your face. Lubricate it, and repeat the process, or clean out your razor and blade. Return it to the holder, tray, or drawer, intended to receive it. Change your razor blade at least once a week, and/or any time it appears to be no longer sharp.

As a rule, the amount of facial hair you are to have is none. Any facial hair you elect to keep is to be kept clean and groomed. Do this as an acknowledgment that you have been ceded a dear concession, at least for the time being. When you need a reason to shave to go with a recommendation, shaving is to be done. It grooms your appearance, improves your image, gives you greater confidence, keeps skin looking younger, massages the skin, and removes dead cells.

Wash your face and wipe any (mucus) out of the corners of your eyes. Check to see that your eyes look well rested. Have them checked by a professional once every two years. Advancement is so much better to see with clear vision.

Get or give yourself a facial. You can get a European facial. You might get a customized skin analysis and a skin care prescription.

Men's Grooming Hair Care (Manes) Men's Personal Grooming and Men's Essential Etiquette

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by Harold Almon baesoe.com
Be at Ease School of Etiquette Austin

Hair is to be clean and look conditioned, cut, and cared for. It is to be let down every once in a while, if only to wash it.

Take the hair test. Look in the mirror at your hair halo or silhouette. The prickly hairs you see are what show in each photograph. Change that. Rub your hand over your hair from the back to the front. If it make loud noise, if it threatens to tear at your skin, “You betta” do something about it.

Shampooing

Hair is to be shampooed according to the edicts of your culture. A person with very coarse or very dry hair is to shampoo it once a week. In between, rinse it with water alone while taking a bath or a shower. Put new dressing on it.

A man with fine or oily hair can shampoo his hair three times a week. Some people may seem to shampoo their hair anytime they get anywhere near water.

To shampoo your hair, wet your head and hair and massage your scalp with your fingers. Turn off the water. Apply a small amount of shampoo to your hands; add it to your wet hair. Rotate your fingertips in place from the nape of your neck forward. Massage shampoo in over every inch of your scalp with your fingers. Then rinse your head and hair, and stop. You can repeat this process. This action can be necessary: when your hair is very dirty, when you have been swimming, or after you have been bicycling behind a bus. You may just do it because you want to see lather as you see it on TV.

There is a rumor, to remove dandruff, close your eyes, shake salt into your hair, then massage it in, O.K. now go back and rinse or shampoo it out.

Change your shampoo one day every three months.

Conditioning Hair

Rub your hand over your hair and listen. If you can hear it, it is time for conditioning.

Hair is to be conditioned. It can be deep conditioned. Apply whatever it is, that you must use, to provide natural high lights and body to your hair. The advantage is the more you condition your hair the shinier it gets, and the more natural it stays. The better you take care of your hair the more intelligent some people will think you. Maybe this is not an advantage, just a reality.

A person with coarse hair may use a crème rinse conditioner. A fine-haired person may use a Balsam conditioner. A person with tangle or flyaway hair, or hair which has spilt ends may use an instant conditioner, a body building conditioner, or a corrective conditioner.

To condition your hair, apply the conditioning agent to your hands, and add it to your newly rinsed hair. Work it in: twist it in for five to ten minutes, until there is a change in hair texture. Then rinse it out. This works! You can condition the hair over your entire body.

Drying Your Hair

Dry your hair. This can be done with a face cloth or towel. This may be done while you are still in the shower. You could blow dry your hair, outside the shower, before combing it down. Move the dryer over your hair in a sweeping motion, until it is dry.

When you have longer hair, you may move the dryer over your hair until it is just damp. Then pull your damp hair straight to retain straight hair when it dries. You can hold the attachment around a hank of hair, dry it, release it, and continue this process, until all of your hair is dried.

You may curl your hair with a brush attachment to have it curl when it dries. Hair can be towel dried, gently, or allowed to air dry naturally, when your hair by design is to receive hairdressing and present a wet look.

Trimming Hair

Avoid having hair that is sheared. Hair is to be trimmed with scissors. Go to a barber or hair stylist and let this be done. You can go to a personal hair design consultant. When your instructions are disregarded, leave no tip, and change stylist. When your wishes are honored: when you are gifted with a great trim, be grateful. Tip and say, "Thank you."

Hair is to be scissor cut in a style according to the edicts of your culture, and/or the conditions of your employment. The preferred cut is neat and short, and clear of your ears, cheeks, and collars, the day before you go to have it trimmed; that is to say always. Whatever the length get your hair trimmed at least once every other week. Hair is to be washed before it is trimmed, unless it is to receive a chemical process. It is to be washed immediately after. Hair can be buzz cut or shaven off the head. Some of us can pull off either look, but unless you are in the military, have been, or have a great head shape, these practices are to be avoided.

Hair can be shaven off of the head after it is buzz cut. This may be done with a razor blade and 91% alcohol placed in the cap of the plastic bottle in which your razor is stored. Dip the head of the razor in the alcohol and shave your head in one direction in one inch strokes. You could use this process to shave your face. Keep the alcohol out of your eyes. Rinse the razor and store it back in the cap covered bottle. You could now moisturize your newly hairless skin.

Caring for Hair

Hair may be added in the form of a weave, and/or a transplant. We are not all the same. Avoid adding or taking away hair which will cause you to look suspect, or to look dangerous. Avoid radical haircuts, unless you really are technically well versed enough to be self employed, or do not mind perpetually earning minimum wage.

Brow trimming could be a part of a man's haircut. Each is to be combed straight, and then snipped. Brow plucking for a man is entertainment: either he is in it, is it, or will be it. Avoid over plucking. Then there is the two finger rule – the space to be between the two.

Ear lobe-hair trimming might be a part of a haircut. When you cut your hair, treat yourself to a soothing or an invigorating scalp massage.

Hair is to be colored by nature. It may be accented with a color gloss or surface highlights. Hair is to be cared for; a hair dressing is to be applied to it. When neglected, or unprotected, hair gets hot, it burns, and it smells. Avoid this.

Use a dressing that has little or no scent.

For thick dry hair, you can use oil, hair grease, or a lotion. A fine-hair person may use a hair texturizer; take a small amount, add water, apply it with your hands, and comb it through. A person with oily hair could use a water-soluble non-alcoholic dressing.

Apply a dressing to your hands, and then apply it to your wet hair. Spread it thoroughly, but sparingly, regardless of how it is scented. Avoid rinsing this dressing out. (You would only have to reapply it.)

Always wet your hair for two minutes and then brush it for at least one hundred strokes, (OK 50 strokes.) Coarse hair will develop a wave pattern, and fine hair will shine.

Afterwards you can comb or brush it out, shake it out, or

massage hair, when it is to sport a natural look.

You might apply hair spray to your hair. Use one that is unscented. Hold the hair spray can or container at least twelve inches away. Press the nozzle only enough to mist your hair. Avoid having hair that never moves. Hair spray is to be brushed out of your hair each night.

Hair is to be kept looking neat. It may be smoothed with your hands, in public. Beyond this, leave it alone. Do other acts of grooming in a bathroom.

Clean your hairbrush routinely. Comb all hairs out of it. Soak it in a warm soap and water solution, in alcohol, or in a hydrogen peroxide solution. Rinse it out. Let it dry with the bristles down, preferably, on some kind of towel. Clean your comb by hand. Remove the loose hairs from it. Soak it. Rinse it. Let it dry. Return each to a holder or drawer for storage.

University Etiquette Men's Grooming Remembering Names

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by Harold Almon baesoe.com

A person is to try to remember the names of people to whom he or she has a business association, been introduced to, and/or sees frequently.

Remember the name of people with whom you come in contact. The name of each person met is to be written down on the back of a business card with a memory jogger at the first opportunity.

Practice reading the names on business cards in your possession, and placing a face with each, often.

You can have a binder with pages for your business cards segregated by location where each set of people were met. It may be segregated in business field sequence and then alphabetically by name (as in a telephone book.)

Greet people by their name, whenever polite and possible. Learning the precise pronunciation of the name of each colleague here and in each country is to be part of the remembering process. Use a name as part of an invitation, introduction, a way of pulling someone into a conversation, or to make a compact with someone.

When someone asks, “Do you remember my name?” You can say, “Remind me your name.” Use can forgive a person for forgetting your name. You can use that person’s name when you do.

University Etiquette Men's Grooming Live Between Two Worlds Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon

In home (minority) training, you were taught, not to look into the eyes of adults. You were told, "Do not eat my words before they get out of my mouth. Stop trying to be Mannish." You learned (respect :) to look away or down when "Grown folk," spoke. Do this in business, and you will be accused of ignoring senior people. You will learn to look at people who are talking to you. It is mannish. It is also the custom.

You will learn to say, "Good morning," and be taught that, "What's happening" is none of your concern. You will learn (communication) to speak and to listen more slowly, with distinct breaks in each (like talking on a walkie talkie, “over.”) People do not trust people who can listen, think, and speak at the same time. Learn adults rarely raise their hands before they speak or say, "I'm sorry."

You were taught to wear your Sunday best for church. You will want to wear your best suit for business. When you do, people will find reason to challenge you. You will find that you can go almost anywhere in any uniform, except a suit.

You will find that when you do dress for success, you cannot get a cab, and elevators will close on you. You will learn to avoid suits or to defend them. Take off your jacket, whenever appropriate. Learn to invest in good shirts and great sweaters.

You will learn that dressing for success is dressing to fit in (or you will be suspect.) You will ensure that your clothes look good, and are casual. You will wear one signature ring. You will buy a camera/text telephone, and learn to use it with discretion.

You will want a Lexus or a Cadillac, and will learn the benefits of a Lincoln. You will look at an RX anything, and a Volvo, and see yourself in a Jaguar; you will learn that something old or a truck is a good business car.

You will be taught that all men are created equal, and have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You will learn that only some are born free. The rest of us must work at it. You will call a cop who will do nothing, and see a judge who will find for you and the defendant, and deny you a remedy, or dismiss your case. You will long to be free. You may appeal, and petition, and involve yourself in the educational, political, and judicial process. You can win on appeal and/or after a riot, or after suing them twice.

You will learn the benefit of coaching, community involvement, and board service. You will get a good job. Ask for a telephone expense account, to keep in touch with others like you who have broken through the glass ceiling. It will be granted. You will do a fine job and engage in the pursuit of property. That is what the word used to be before they changed it to "Happiness."

You will move into a good neighborhood and become aware of people who will want to hire you, "’cause the house you "Work at" always looks so clean and beautiful." You will want to keep folks out of your home, to get a gun, and to retain a lawyer. You will learn to return a call made to your home; it is a sign of acceptance, which must be reciprocated, just because it is what is done.

You will never be a good Ol' boy. You will survive the parent company. You will be accepted. You will find peace. You will learn to live between two worlds.

University Etiquette Leave Home Surviving the Parent Company

Outclass the Competition
by Harold Almon

Ultimately you will leave home, with or without cleaving to a spouse. Where possible take a vacuum cleaner. Leave on an up note. All else will be added unto you.

Home from the home you love 'must go, 'cannot pack your bags and then stay. To learn the things that you must know, (to learn the things you cannot ask, but need to know,) you have to go away.

Visit your homeland as you would a burial ground. Make it a beautiful place to remember, if not to stay around.

Pray: “God help our parents who, with love, try to disown what they cannot understand.”

Swerve, and curve, and crash, or learn to drive. Stumble, and fall, and die, or learn to live. Do not play dead before you have to.

You can always come back home, until you are really ready to leave. You knew that when you left. It would be nice if you brought back the vacuum cleaner, the kitchen appliances, and maybe some money. Strive to be reasonably happy.

University Etiquette Save a Life Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon

Learn how to save a life. Learn to perform Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR,) First Aid, and General Safety. Learn how to swim, and how to save someone who does not know how to swim. Obtain a certificate of training and a certification card for each.

Learn how to perform the Heimlich maneuver.

Know the Good Samaritan Law. Make sure that in the State you are in, it pertains to you. This law says that you cannot be held liable for actions within the scope of your training. Your decision to interfere is a moral one. Once you start, you are legally obligated to continue CPR until certified help arrives. This is little to ask for the greater good. Learn how to do these things. Ask and let someone teach you how.

University Etiquette Men Expect Loyalty and Trust Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon

From each person with whom you associate, expect loyalty and trust. Expect a willingness to work toward achieving a specific goal. Loyalty includes making someone aware of information or ideas that could help everyone do a better job. It includes helping a person prevent, or keep from creating, a potential problem.

Each person has work to do. Remember to say, "Please," and "Thank you," often. Identify things being done that are not to your liking. Do not try to reform anyone.

Develop a delicacy and fairness in judging the motives of others (even when you are angry.) Remember, "Imperfect friends are better than perfect strangers." For most people, assets outweigh liabilities.

Learn that loyalty includes doing more. If you do only what is asked it will not be enough. In good faith someone cannot ask of you all that is required, or be asked to do all that must be done. Do more. Ask, what needs to be done? Do it. Maintain your friends, your sense of humor, and your principles. There is nothing more important than loyalty and trust, except honor.

University Etiquette Male Grace Over Power Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon baesoe.com

Men, in business, you will learn to say to yourself, “Grace over power.” Grace: getting approval will win out over showing power. Show that you can be more graceful than powerful. When a thing appears to be difficult, request help. Say, "Grace over power." Do the thing again with more implied force, with more ingenuity, and in a more relaxed fashion.

Show generosity whenever possible. Show style over your ability to spend. Maintain your principles over your passions. Be seen, communicate; say, “Thank you.” Every once in a while, polish a halo: catch other people doing right, and say, "Looks nice!" Share the responsibility for matters of consideration for those in a given environment. Make eye contact. Say, “Please,” “Bless you,” “Thank you,” and “Excuse me,” at given opportunities.

Practice being kind, people remember it. Correct a fault, if you are responsible for the existence of it. Perform the correction without bringing undue attention to the incident or to yourself. Recover quickly. Learn to smile.

Keep a private life separate from your business life. Do not gossip. Keep oneself and one's supervisor out of office politics.

When an event happens that is too embarrassing to be considered tolerable, ignore it. Pretend that the event did not happen. Act accordingly, at least for the moment.

When you are the brunt of a verbal tort, be ready and able with a funny verbal retort. Smile if a retort is not forthcoming. Leave when you cannot smile. Avoid being rude, loud, losing temper, or betraying patience in public. Each indicates a fall from grace.

Learn to excuse and remove yourself, instead of getting ill or displaying agitation, by a circumstance. Say, “Got to go.” Keep the mindset, "No problem”or “Never mind. It does not matter." (I know. It does matter. For this, there is - later.) For every affront, my mother use to say, “A cow is going to need its tail more than one time, to shoo the flies away.” (It means they will need you again.)

Practice, acceptable (funny) retorts. Your mission is to get approval. OK, now you can stay. Remember the rules. They can be more important than the activity.

In Surviving the Parent Company, you will learn that imperfect friends will always be better than perfect strangers. Ultimately, people will always be more important than floors, and the Ginny Biter's rule applies on matter and energy: “If it does not matter, do not waste the energy.” Welcome home.

University Etiquette Men the Fifth Protocol Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon

In life, you will learn four rules of management:

“Rule number one - Never Take Yourself Too Seriously.

Rule number two - Never Take Other People Too Seriously.

Rule number three - Never Let a SOB Know That You Know That He or She is a SOB.

Rule number four - Never Have a Pissing Contest with a
Skunk.”

These will make you desirable to almost everybody. Nevertheless, also learn the fifth protocol: what to do when you do have that pissing contest. Remember the remedies, tomato juice – (wash with it,) and time, (wait on it.) “Imperfect friends are better than perfect strangers.” These are things that someone really did mean to tell you.
(Besides that’s my son.)

University Etiquette Men A Game Called Staying Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon

In business there is a game called "Staying." Staying is based on the belief that you should always be reasonably happy. Someone was smart enough to hire, or to have you. That someone is smart enough to know you are going to strive to be reasonably happy. Do not get tired before that someone does. Do not quit. Learn to ask, to yell, to cry, to say, "Can we talk?" Tell your side of the story, and wait.

Learn the authority can be "Not right." In watching out for his or her feelings, the authority can appear to be forgetful. You were had or hired, so that you could perform, and win approval. Someone waited half a work life while yelling, "No," and saying, "Don't touch that," just to win your approval.

There will be a period, when all you think of, or about, is what you want to do, and what you want. That someone, not wanting you to be "Not" cool, will wait out that period with you. He or she will not agree, and will not change the rules.

If you are lucky, in spite of all the things that person has taught you, you will win that someone's approval. Then a funny thing will happen that someone will become all the things you thought he or she should be, and will win your approval. Just when that someone has won your approval, it is time for you, or that someone, to go away.

Games will be played using home training. You will share with someone Santa, and the Easter Bunny. You will be welcomed wherever you need to be. You will survive the parent company. This is a playing manual, or maybe it is just a love story.

University Etiquette Men Citing a S.O.B. Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon

In business, remember, "The authority is not a S.O.B." You cannot call a S.O.B., a S.O.B. without questioning the integrity of the person who hired, or did not fire the S.O.B. Cited S.O.B.'s write unadmirable letters of recommendation, (and provide even less money.) Future and potential S.O.B.'s are not likely to quickly hire a person who can so readily identify such an unadmirable quality.

When you want a change, remember your desired action: to be treated equal, or well, or to leave. Letting a S.O.B. know about a perceived ability could induce a demonstration of that ability. This will have little to do with your desired action. The S.O.B. could want you to stay, to ask, or to fight, to come back. He or she could be trying to teach you, be watching out for you, or even love you.

(Besides that’s my father.)

University Etiquette Men a Game Called Adulting Surviving the Parent Company

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by Harold Almon

In growing up you will master a game called Adulting. Adulting requires that you have a will to survive where you are. Survival could depend on your ability to state what the truth is, in terms of new opposites, which is to say what the truth is not. Learn to say, "It is not fair," "I am not wrong," or "I am not happy."

You will learn not to say "I am right," or "I am innocent." You do not have to be right. Subordinates get fired for being right. Being right never provides the power to change anything. Being right rarely means you get advanced, your desired action, or even that you get your place back.

You may say, "You feel I am not right," or "You feel I am not innocent." Ask, "Can we talk about it?" "O.K?" "Later?" "Please?" In business, say, "I am not happy." Add, "I'd like to have my place and controls defined." "If you and I are ever going to agree on what is good, we need to talk," or "I'd like to see about a career broadening position. Can you see what you can do for me?"

In adulting, if what you say is said in terms of new opposites: what it is "Not," the authority does not have to act, but cannot say, "I never knew." All that saying "Not" does is allows a desired action to be stated, and a dissenting opinion to be investigated.

A Game Called Good-bye

In home training, someone will say, "Do not talk to him or her like that, that is your mother, uncle, or brother. When you get a home, car, or apartment of your own, you can run it any way you want." On your own, you can be in charge and free. To do this some move, some marry, and some unmarry. Somewhere there is a game called "Goodbye."

In business, you will be told, "That is So and so's area. I'll have to let him or her handle that." "This is my shop, if you do not like it - leave," or "We called a meeting, and everyone who attended agreed your request for your desired action is a luxury this company cannot afford."

Your mind will give birth to a home remedy, a "Policy reason for leaving.” The number one acceptable reason for leaving any business is, "Money" - more of it. It appeals to the spirit of accomplishment in an authority, even when that someone wants you to stay.

The number two acceptable reason for leaving is "School," and number three is, "Career broadening," or "To spend time with my family." A lesser acceptable reason for leaving is "A differing in philosophy,” the old version of number three.

You have a desired action - to be treated equal, well, or to leave. Using cited reasons for leaving will not make you a hero, but it will make coming back not hard, and being where you are just, "Not" easy.