Words We Use Men's Business Etiquette Harold Almon

Words We Use. The words we use tell more about where we have come from, and how far we are from anywhere we want to be, than any genealogy. We are judged by our word selection, and by how we answer questions.

What do you call a hired car and driver? A taxi and a taxi driver, a limo and a limo driver, a limousine and a chauffeur, or a car and driver?

What color should a limousine be? White or Black?

Is it, “Pleased to meet you.” or “How do you do?”

When do I use a first name (for a friend,) a title and first name (for an endeared superior,) a title and last name (for an acquaintance,) a title and first and last name (for a stranger?) and a first and last name alone, (for business.)

Which is more correct, a couch, a davenport, or a sofa? Draperies or curtains? What should you get dentures or false teeth?

Is it a Tux, a Tuxedo, a Dinner Jacket, Black tie, or evening clothing? Is full evening clothing a three-piece suit, a Dress Set, or White tie and Decorations?

What is to be used, a watch, clock, or timepiece? Stationery, letterhead, or writing paper?

What is to be said, "The gentleman," or "the man?" "That gentleman or that man?" Pardon me, I beg your pardon, or excuse me? Which one in polite society is much worse than the word for making love (hard)? (The first.)

Which do people use the Rest room, Lavatory, Bathroom, or Toilet?

Which do you aspire to be, wealthy, affluent, or rich?

What do you write communiqués, messages, or notes?

Is, “the kind invitation,” part of an acceptance, and “the very kind invitation,” part of regret, no, or yes?

Is it a gratuity or a tip? Did you attend School, College, or University?

Will you pass away, or die? (You will surely die.) Who will bury you, a funeral director, or an undertaker?

We are judged by our word intonation and by our pronunciation. Is the word often, (off-tin) or (of’ en)?

And we are judged based on how we vacation. Will you be weekending, or summering every year, at the same place? Where are you from America, or the United States?

What is the “right” thing? It can include stepping up, resignation, suicide, (tell the person insisting that it be done that it is not happening,) or temporary insanity? (For which there is rehabilitation.) The more correct answers for each of these are to the right.

We establish authority by the use of a form of the verb to be. It is to be. We accept possibility by use of the word can. It can be.… We allow license by the using the word may, and we show deference and/or defiance by word could. “I know for a fact that you are wrong.” “And I understand that you could be mistaken.”

Avoid the word "Actually." It might be taken as condescending, over correcting, and trite.

Learn the power of the word can. It may be placed before or after the words, When, What, Where, and How, and demonstrate deference to superiors. It can be omitted and indicate conversation between peers, or display a license taken.

Know that we are judged on our ability to relay information with humor, and to be funny.

Learn word usage from a sociologist. Study words we use. They tell who we are. The most useful could be, “Excuse me,” “Bless you,” and “Thank you.” There are more of these. Be at ease.