Men's Personal Grooming 64-85

Men’s Business Etiquette
Cool Rules to Know 

Men’s Business Etiquette In US ISBN 978-0-917921-12-4

Professional and Graduate
Male Care Matters

                               

Things Expected from the Male Half

Traditions Governing                 

Business and Social Behavior               

University Etiquette
Outclass the Competition

An At Ease Press Etiquette Guide                                   

A Be at Ease School of Etiquette Course Guide                      

(102)

Text by

Harold Almon

Published by

At Ease Press
schoolofetiquette@ateasepress.com

All rights reserved including the right to reproduce this guide, or parts thereof, in any form, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

ISBN 978-0-917921-12-4  

Copyright (c) 2012, 2019

Printed in the United States of America

Text by

Harold Almon

Foreword

Men’s Business Etiquette is about cool rules to know: traditions governing business and social behavior, consideration, and taste: things expected from male young professionals and university students. 

“Do not hate the player or the game.

Hate (having the talent, and)

Not knowing the rules.”

Those who have talent and execute the rules best wins.

Etiquette: considerations that delay the inevitability of war and the license whereby someone may sue for peace. 

Business Social Traditions

Before you agree to stay, there are rules about business social traditions: how you get approval that someone really meant to tell you. There are things you want to remember and enjoy, and games you want to know how to play.

.In home training, there were comments made to you from someone like me: “Why cannot you be more like Johnny?” There were tests, and gold stars, allowance, permission, and being grounded; and there were other forms of adult-imposed punishment. And there was the knowledge that when you got a car, home, or a business, of your very own, you could run each - any way you wanted. Gold stars were given based on how well you could test. Your performance was rated, not based, on "Hard work," but on "Good work,” how well a job is thought to have been done: approval.

In business, (in the place you are now,) no one makes comments anymore, but they still speak fondly of Johnny. There are still gold stars, given based on tests. There is performance, and approval, and “Unhired,” and there are other forms of adult-imposed punishment. If you are lucky, someone will tell you about consideration, that when you get “one” of your very own, playing by the rules - is no less a requirement.

Staying is based on personality and approval: how well you are thought to play.

This guide covers rules on men’s etiquette. Remember rule number one; it matters, and rule number two; he who has talent and executes the rules best wins. Let the games begin.

Men Get a Public Business Partner

Avoid attempting to master business-social etiquette alone. Get a public partner. Share social information with this person. Share the process. Get, and provide feedback.

In business, it is not a matter of being good enough or knowing your stuff. It is a matter of how well you play, and how you will play at the next level. Attend social events with your partner. Where possible, this person is to be of the opposite sex. After five o'clock, the public partner for a married person is to be his or her spouse. Your public partner need not be a romantic interest. He or she may be retained long after any romance is over.

Share games. If you are lucky, your partner will know how to play golf, tennis, racket ball, and cards. He or she will have been to a museum, theater, opera, on a cruise, or on an away trip, at least once.  Share parties. If luckier still, your partner will know how to dine: attend a business social party,  and practice and share skills in business dinner etiquette, and know the prerequisites to business success: how to engage in table talk, not drink or talk too much, and know how to dance.

Give back, volunteer. Join a committee. Accept an appointment to a board. Join an association. Take an academic class. It is in one of these environments a partner of choice will be most evident doing social polishing: making mistakes where it counts the least, practicing social graces, and being firm and considerate.

Your social partner will be aware that there is another level, to life, and another side to moving forward. Say thank you often. Practice presentations on each other. Share heroes and spotlights.

Men Get a Promotional Partner

Get a promotional partner: someone with whom you seek the same target market but with whom you are not in direct competition.

Share precious resources with this person.

Pool advertising budgets.

Share advertising spots.

Swap mailing lists.

Share display space.

Sell the experience.

Insert promotional advertising items.

Bundle products and services.

Co-sponsor events.

Share public exposure.

Share literature in racks in waiting areas.

Each can be an ideal solution to maximizing advertising dollars.

Male Schedule Management 

In business, arrive “Just in time” for any appointment you intend to keep. You can get there ten minutes early, and then walk around the block.

Organize your thoughts beforehand. Send business information in advance of a meeting where practical. Be prepared to wait up to ten minutes after the time specified to be seen. Telephone whenever being late is unavoidable. Apologize for a missed appointment mischance. The apology must be accepted with as much calm as can be mustered. Suggest another appointment.

In social life, arrive "Just in time" for any event you plan to attend, whatever "On time" means, in your community. For an informal party at a private home, a business party, or for a large or small dance, arrive very close to the time specified (in descending order of importance).

Manage your daily schedule by using a portable organizer; it can be new-school, a smart telephone. It may be old school, a sleek leather system organizer full of crisp visiting and business cards with color dividers, or a spiral planner.

It could be a laptop or notebook PC for salaried workers, workers on flex time and independent business people.

A daily schedule might be managed by using a computer-generated calendar, a loose-leaf sheet calendar, or by sharing a multi-person calendar.

Things to do can be spoken in a pocket-size tape recorder or listed on a note pad and transcribed later.

Ask for one or more of these as a present and/or as a benefit to allow you to provide better service in your employment.

Male Considerate Actions

Carry items in your left hand. You can carry a woman's heavy package, coat, or suitcase as the occasion arises.  (Omit from carrying a woman's purse.) You may carry a bag strapped over your right shoulder. Avoid carrying a backpack over your lower back (and causing you to have to give it another name).

Offer to carry anything for a person who is old, sick, or who is carrying a child. Offer your seat to any senior person in your company.

Offer your arm, or take the elbow of a companion, but only if that person needs assistance in crossing an area, at a curb, or on stairs.

Carry money in a money clip for tipping, taxies, and for mad-type emergencies.

Carry a pencil and a pen with as much metal in each as possible. Carry a fountain pen when you can.  Even a non-expensive one can leave a good impression.

Carry a timepiece: a wrist watch for work, a pocket timepiece for formal and social occasions. A timepiece can be handed up from father to son.  It is about the totem, not the time.

Perform small services. Offer to open a window, and/or tell someone the time, when the desire for each is identified.

You might carry a cellular telephone. It is another kind of totem. It can be about the time. Each person may have a need to track it. It may be about an emergency: place an “ICE #” In Case of Emergency contact number in your contacts.  Use lockout codes in case you lose it. You may add to it a GPS in case you or it gets lost. It could list REWARD # to call to have your telephone returned to you.

A cellular telephone is to be used in private as much as possible. When engaged in a conversation, step outside out of earshot of others or step inside into an empty bathroom or stairwell to enjoy your call. Thank you.  Notification of an incoming call is to be by vibration. (I am going to go ahead and hold on to this dream.)

You can stay “miked.” Any wire is to be worn under your clothes, and ideally, any earpiece is to be worn in only one ear or stored behind the neck.

Male Words to Say in Passing

When passing someone, in business, first provide a greeting appropriate for the time of day. Say, “Good morning,” or “Good afternoon.” Know that “Good" is normally said only in business. "Good evening," is normally said only by staff to senior people. "Good night," is said only when dismissing oneself from someone else. Each phrase without the word “Good” can be said by peers. Use each, try.  With peers, you can say, "Hello," “Peace,” “Out,” and “Later.” The reply to a greeting is to be in kind. Formally, people of about the same social position can perform a greeting by saying, "How do you do?" The reply is to be "How do you do?"  Avoid messing up a perfectly good “How do you do,” with a “How are you?” Informally you can say, “How are you?”  The reply “How are you?” or “Very well thank you. And (how are) you?” It can be "Miserable, but thank you for asking; (and you?") People might want to see if you are listening or just need some company. More informally the reply to “What’s up?” has been seen to be “What’s up?” Sometimes a senior person will hear an informal greeting and remain silent. (This is just an observation.) (“How do you do?”) You may say, “What’s up?” The reply is to be the same.

Acknowledge a need or a mishap in passing by saying, “Excuse me,” or “I beg your pardon.”  (Avoid saying, “Pardon me.”) You can say, “I am sorry.”

Ask, “May I (we) get through please.” You can say, “After you,” “I yield,” “Please,” “I insist,” or informally, “Dance?” to let someone pass. Pass to the left. You can stay to the right.

Motion with your left hand, smile and allow the person to pass. After passing, or being allowed a request, say, "You're welcome," or "Thank you," as appropriate. Learn to say, “Nice to see you,” and/or “Looks nice.” A person who is reluctant to say anything in passing is to learn how to nod. When someone is being offensive, the best defense can sometimes be a smile, followed by a “Is there a problem here?" “You doing alright today: (street code for “What the hell?” or “You having a good day?” You can say “You O.K?” or “Can I help you.” When you want someone to go away, you may say, “Good day." If more of a hint is needed, it only needs to be repeated, (Sir. I say,) Good day.” Be prepared to defend yourself or to duck. The best defense may be a smile, followed by, "I see," "I understand," "How can I help you," or with an "And you have a nice day." You could add, "That’s not very well brought up behavior." You might say, “Hey man, can you help me with the language.  I said please.” When someone is being intrusive it has been seen said, “I am fine here, Sir,” or “I do not mean to keep you,” “May the peace of the Lord be with you.” When you hear a request for, “Spare change,” what you do is up to you. When refusing an offer for charity you are to say, “I am sorry.”  When refusing an offer of an item you can press your open hand to your heart, tilt your head slightly aside and say, “Thank you.” Verbal communication can begin with three of the four Ws or an H: When, Where, What, or How. Avoid asking why.

Male Business International Non-verbal Communication

Be careful of what you say non-verbally. Avoid signing the backward "V" for victory (“I still have my (bow) fingers,”) thumbs up or the sign for "O.K." Outside of the USA, each is considered vulgar and/or an insult in more than one culture. Signing a Cross might be favored and used in lieu of signing a single finger.

Words that a woman may say better not to be believed, “Please don’t get up,” “Please sit down,” It is OK, I can manage,” or “Go ahead, I’ll be alright.” You have a firm duty of care; until the world can see your attempted efforts have been rebuffed enough to maybe consider thinking about forgiving you.

Walking in Business

In business, a junior person is to walk to the street side, or one step to the left and behind any senior person.

A senior person can walk to the left of a junior person. When this happens, a junior male is to walk behind a senior person until he can get to the other side. An employed woman is to be regarded according to her job position. In social life, a woman is to be regarded as a senior person.

Step back to let others come out of any doorway, room, elevator, or area in which you wish to enter.

Hold a door open from the side for any person in front of or immediately behind you going out of or into a doorway. Push any swinging door; go through first. You can pull any swinging door, or step back from an automatic door, and let a person precede or follow according to his or her sex or seniority. (People will notice.) 

A senior person is to precede a junior person and a “Host” in going into or out of a doorway or office. Say, “Please,” to acknowledge the senior person. This person can say, “I insist.” You may say, “I yield,” “I am honored”  “Thank you,” or “Sir.” The junior person is to know when to give up the fight.

You can offer to enter and exit an elevator or any doorway last. This is a right of a host or hostess. It is the duty of any person in his or her own country. Peers can go through a doorway shoulder to shoulder.

In social life, a woman in a line is to precede any man with her, unless he can in some way help by going first. In official life, an official in a line is to precede the person with him or her. A designated escort may walk to the left and ahead of a visitor when escorting him or her into an unfamiliar area.

When walking alone, in the United States of America, walk to the right. Honor is to the right. When walking with a senior person, walk to the left and one-step behind, or to the street side. When a senior person stops to talk to someone, to use an ATM, or to write a check, the junior person is to step back or to walk ahead slowly. The senior person is to be allowed to decide if introductions are in order.

Walk erect: as if your back rib cage is against a wall, and your arms were almost pinned to your sides. Stop for red lights. You are walking and I can hear you.  And if I do, time to learn a new way of walking or to get new shoes. Advancing is to be done on the balls of the feet. (It can be controlled from each quadrant listed for midsection management.)

Pausing in Business - Working a Room

Learn to pause (often). Pausing is an action that will allow you to take control of a room or to give notice of your intent to leave one. It can allow you to make your presence known without disrupting or upstaging anyone. It may let you get a little extra from being where you are.

Pausing could be done at the top of stairs, in a hallway, doorway, or center of a room, by a mere stop. You might allow yourself to act as if you have entered the limelight. This is an especially useful thing to do, if you really do have a “bad” knee. A pause is to be enjoyed. Take a breath, or make a small noise so that someone can see you. Continue your walk in company.