Station Four
The Line to the Table
Station Four – The Line to the Table
The line to the table is used to pair people with their dinner partners. Just before dinner, this line is to be formed; you can go to the bar and then begin or join a line to the bathroom. The line to the bar and the bathroom may be omitted in favor of one leading directly to the line to the table. (This way, please.)
A pre-dinner drink offered at a table is called an aperitif: (an appetite starter). In a commercial dining room, a pre-dinner drink is to be placed atop a cocktail napkin placed to the right of all other glasses when it is served, rested or finished. It and this glass may be removed when the drink is finished.
A guest may be heard to say, “Please order me a drink. I’II be right back,” or “Where can I wash my hands.” A guest could wait to do this until after reading or ordering from a reusable menu. Once someone does this, expect the next act: a visit to the bathroom; it is station six. A host is to know the location of each station six.
Now, if you have not done so, “Go wash your hands and get ready to stay at the table.” You can wait to do this until after you have read and returned that reusable menu.
When you are hungry and know the necessity of passing the clean nail test, you may wash your nails with soap and cold water. Wet your hands. Turn the water off. Wash your hands by agitating one against the other. Rinse them. Clean under each fingernail from the tip to the under skin. You can use a fingernail of one hand to clean behind the fingernails on the other. You may use a file in a finger-nail clipper, one tip of a pair of tweezers, or a toothpick. At home, this could be done using a nailbrush.
Check the reflection of your nails in the mirror. Make corrections to your nails and put some lotion on your hands where you can. Your nails will look that much better at the table.
Before you go, check your face: nose, teeth, and mouth. Turn off your notification technology and or your telephone. Neither is to be a part of your place setting. Allow yourself time to get settled.
The washing of hands can be done during a wait when you are in station three. Then you can assemble in the room used to form the line to the table. Find your dinner partner, and say to this person, "Would you like to go in to dinner?" or "May I take you in to dinner?”
The First Seat The Seat of Honor in Business Dining
Each seat at a table has a number assigned to it in precedence order. At dinner, the first seat to be assigned at a table is the seat of honor. It can be in the east side of the room. It is to allow a person in it to see the main entrance door, kitchen door, and the center and far back side of the room. It can allow the person in it to have his or her back to a wall in the room in which the event will be held. This seat is the head of the table.
1. A host/ hostess or escort is to be assigned to each table. As a rule of thumb, the host (HT) is to get the first seat. When the hostess (HTS) is to serve the meal her back is to be to the kitchen door depending on the room. Guests at a table are honored by their seating assignment.
2. In a commercial dining room, the first seat of honor is where to place the official host. Socially it can be where to place the person held in the highest esteem at an event: man number one (M1), or woman number one (W1). It is where to place a date.
In business, this can be where to place the most senior person, the person holding the highest official rank, (unless waived) or where to place the guest of honor.
To do this, the host or hostess can move one place to the left from the seat of honor when that guest is of the opposite sex. He or she may move across from the seat of honor when the person is of the same-sex or a senior person. This is done to give high honor to a guest. In a private home, the seat at the head of the table is for the host. He can relinquish this seat only to honor a head of state, or (when alone) a date.
There are booth rules. There are a separate set of rules
For Honor at Table for Seating a Multiple of Four
At an official function, guests are to stand behind the chair of the seat to which each has been assigned unless otherwise directed. Introductions can be accomplished to people to the left or right who are unknown to you. Guests can be asked to charge a glass for a welcoming toast.
At a social function, a man can assist a woman to his right in being seated. At an official function and or in business this action may be omitted. Avoid moving a place card and changing a seating assignment. Once seated, you can place your place card above your place setting.
Each item taken into the dining room is to be placed somewhere other than on the table unless it is to be part of the meal.
A coat is to be draped and folded over the back of the chair of the woman who wore it. It can be checked in at the door.
A handbag can be placed under the napkin of the person to whom it belongs.
A hat is to be (worn by a woman or) placed on the floor.
At a business dinner, a briefcase, backpack, or a book can be placed in a chair or on the floor.
An item of technology may be kept in a pocket, or on a spare chair.
Even at a Buffet, you can remain in your chair until after greeted by a member of the staff, and or the pouring of water.
Drink orders are to be taken and given after a person is seated in a chair. To check this you can ask someone to give you a minute.
A Pre-dinner Toast
At a banquet, Military Dining-out or Dining-in, and at other official functions, each person can be asked to stand behind his or her chair for a toast or some other pre-dinner ceremony.
1. People at the table may be asked to charge or to fill their glass.
Note: Some get the toast out of the way at the beginning so that the photographers can go home.
2. After a toast, each man is to pull out the chair for the woman to his right, see that she is seated, and help her set her chair in place.
This man is then to pull out his chair and take his seat; sit to avoid from showing a gap between the top of the socks and the bottom of the trousers; avoid playing footsie, and keep his feet on the floor.
Rules for a Toast
A host or hostess may plan for and prepare a toast to the health, wealth, or well being of the event or honoree. In a private home, the toast is to be proposed by a host near the end of the dessert course. A guest can propose a toast during this course if approved/justified and if one has been omitted by a host. At an official dinner, a toast is to be proposed by a member of a Dais. The first toast is to be made
1. To someone who is present at the event only in spirit.
2. The second toast can be proposed to the senior person or to the guest of honor: an honoring toast. The toast to other individuals may follow as coordinated and approved of by the host and the hostess.
3. When clicking glasses, to honor someone, the junior person is to click a glass rim lower than that of a person senior by position, age, or to show respect. In the past, the pouring of the poison was the right of the king.
4. The response to a toast is to be, "To the (whoever)" or "Here, here." Then a drink is taken of the beverage provided. A person is to abstain for toasting with water. The person being honored is to abstain from drinking to him or herself. A guest of honor may stand and offer a reciprocal toast. He or she can get up and walk over to the senior person an offer a toast personally.
Sample Toasts
A host is to have a repertoire of classic toasts, just in case eloquence eludes him. Avoid offering a toast or participating in one during the playing of any national anthem.
The first toast can be
(to someone who is not here) “To the President.” Then
1. To Health and Wealth:
“May you live as long as you want. And have all that you want as long as you live.”
2. To Happiness or well being:
“May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, angels, protect you, and Heaven accept you (let you in).”
3. To Friendship:
“There are good ships, and wood ships, that sail in every sea. But the best ships are friendships. This you have taught to me.”
Table Talk and Prayer
At a family meal or an official meal, an invocation may interrupt a conversation. A host is responsible for the invocation. This duty can be delegated to and performed by any person in the assembly, with the question, “Would you care to say a prayer.” When this person is you, know an invocation acceptable to your host’s culture.
Say something "Impromptu" or a standard such as
1. “For what we are about to receive, Lord, make us truly grateful, Amen.” (All or Christian)
2. “God be at our table.” (All)
3. "O Lord, forgive us our sins and bless these gifts in Jesus' name, Amen. (Christian) or
4. "Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord Amen." (Catholic)
An invocation may be any in which everyone feels comfortable in you saying. An invocation can be said at a banquet.
An invocation is to be omitted at a business meeting and at a dinner party in a private home. It is the etiquette, even when not the practice.
Conversation
A host is responsible for controlling conversation at the table: volume and tone. It is to be civil, tranquil, and social, even among families. A Conversation at a table is to begin immediately after people are seated. You can do a self-introduction by saying first to the person on your right and then to your left, "I am..," followed by your first and last name. You can show your place card and say, "My name." A woman may reply to an introduction by saying "I am...," followed by her first and last name if she is single. If she is married or considerably older than you, she could say, "I am, So and so’s wife." Providing her husband’s first and last name. Speak with your inside soft voice. Talk quietly. Nothing as sweet as being able to hear you eat. A personal prayer “Let the table conversation stay at the same decibel level as the invocation.” The difference in a cafeteria, café, and a formal dining room anywhere is the decibel level of the conversations in them. Turn off your cellular telephone, or set it to vibrate. Practice golden silence: have nothing to say for thirty seconds at a time. Talk. Some food can be in your mouth just not seen. Make agreeable talk with your dinner partner(s). Your voice is to be modulated and well-paced. Conversation can be about school, parents, children, vacations, and people in the news and/or about current happenings.
Conversation is spearheaded by asking a question about the person with whom you are talking or by revealing a fact about yourself and then asking a follow-up question.
Be intent in hearing the views of those around you. Continue the conversation in this fashion. Conversation is to be of wit that is quick and of humor that is kind. Pay most deference to the person with the highest status at the table.
Table talk is to contain only information that can be passed. It is an unspoken rule; private conversation is to be conducted in private. Pretend that a microphone is just under the table, it is open, and someone is listening.
At a formal meal, a conversation is always a series of two by two conversations. First, information is to be passed to the woman on your right. The same or updated information can be passed to the woman on your left with the change of the course. This action is called "Turning the table." Informally, dinner a conversation may be briefly switched across or down the table. At the next turn, your partner can relay any new information. With enough courses, what you said will get back to you.
Avoid table talk about religion, age, salary, marriage, table manners, or etiquette. A conversation may be changed by someone saying, in a slightly louder voice, "How about those Yankees." Avoid talking "Shop" at mealtime unless to do so is the expressed purpose. Do this by saying, "I would be glad to get that information to you. Could you call my office tomorrow?"
At a business meal, allow the host or hostess to initiate the business conversation unless there is a failure to do so, and a significant amount of time has passed.
Business talk is to begin at breakfast right after receiving coffee, and at lunch right after the food-order has been taken.
The business lunch; takes place because someone has something to sell, promote, or discuss. If the talk is to be serious, one can order one drink at the table and then order lunch promptly.
At a business dinner, business talk can begin after dessert is ordered but before it arrives. Avoid props when you can. At a, "Getting to know you/joint spouse dinner" business talk may be omitted altogether.
If your host says, “I am the only one you can trust in the country, say, “Check, please,” and head for the door.
Know how to interact with the dining staff. Continental Service – Silent Service American Service – punctuated with “thank you (s)” Finger up – please see me. Flat hand down requesting a pass in service. Finger point: request a refill. Two-finger writing – check, please.
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