Advanced Formal Place Setting
In advanced “formal” place setting, typically, left to right flatware can consist of a fish or appetizer fork, a place (or meat) fork, salad fork, or a dessert fork. This fork may be placed above a plate, handle pointed to the left. A dessert spoon may be placed above it or in lieu of it handle pointed to the right. Then to the right side of the plate, there can be a salad knife, a place (or meat) knife, a fish or appetizer knife, a soup spoon, and an oyster cocktail fork. It can be placed to the left of other forks. Each course is to get its own glass (except salad) and flatware placed in order of use outside in “in kind.” (Place all forks, knives and then the one spoon).The rule is understood to mean the coffee spoon is omitted from the place setting. It can be brought in when coffee is served. “Eat from the outside in,” is understood to mean either a dessert spoon is not required, is set above the plate space, or will be brought in when the course is served. Set all forks, knives, and then all spoons. And know the rule of four: of the five glasses allowed, no more than four are to be set in any place setting at any one time. The sherry glass can be omitted. Then when the table is set to a menu, "Go from the outside in." In a formal place setting, butter is to be omitted from the menu. At a table, avoid making personal items: books or technology apart of a cover.
A service plate, or charger, can be placed at the center of each place setting before people come to the table. This plate is normally larger than the main course or place plate, and it has a one-inch colored rim. It is sometimes called a "Show plate."
In a commercial environment, a service plate can be used for every meal except breakfast. It has been introduced and can be used as a buffet plate. In a private home, it is used in formal United States of America service. The crest, if any, is to face the edge of the table.
A show plate can be used to set the underlying plate for the first and second course. It can stay in service until the main course plate is served. A napkin is placed center the service plate when the first course is to be served later. The service plate may be omitted.
A napkin that is shaped in a singularly distinctive shape such as a crane can indicate a plate and place setting for a host. A plate without a place card on it can indicate the same thing.
An Advanced Formal Place Setting W/ a charger or show plate
Name Table Glassware
Know the name of table glassware: left to right Water, Red wine, White wine, Sherry, and Champagne. (This fluted glass is to be set above the others.) Each is to be placed according to the size of the plate and order of the course to be used with it. A glass for Sherry can be omitted.
No more than four glasses of any kind are to be in any one place setting at any one time. When eating in company water is to be present as a sign of hospitality. Another glass may be set in place for what you serve as wine. There is to be a two glass minimum. Informally these glasses could be the same size.
Glasses stay on the table until each guest has left the room.
Flatware Rule of Three & Rule of Ten
The line to the food begins with the menu order of courses.
Flatware is to be set on a table based on a menu. It can be a
road map to a meal: what courses will be served and when.
Have no fear. In an advanced formal place setting, there is a flatware rule of three: no more than three items of flatware of any one kind are to be placed in any place setting at any one time. An oyster cocktail fork can be placed with up to three other forks in a place setting. It is the lone exception to the rule of three. It can be placed to the left of other forks or tines in the bowl of the soup spoon handle to five o’clock. And then there is the rule of ten: no more than ten pieces of flatware of any kind are to be placed at any one place setting at any given time.
Each course is to get its own flatware placed in order of use outside in – in kind: all knives and then one spoon.
Study place settings even when alone. There are other flatware combinations of ten. Each is an informal place setting. In a formal place setting, not only is the bread and butter plate and butter spreader to be omitted from a place setting but after some point, additional flatware items can be brought in with the course requiring it.
Being Excruciatingly Fork Literate
It is my wish to assist you in being excruciatingly considerate and fork literate. Know each course which can use a fork, when, and how; name six forks. About those forks, in current use, there are six; you know them as this:
Someone will tell you about an olive, pickle, butter, and an ice cream fork, so there are at least ten. But if you do not already have them, chances are if you see them; they cannot be obtained, and if they could be, very few would know how or when to use them.
Spoon Rule of Three
Here is how the spoon rules work. The first spoon (1) is to be a (round) soup spoon for cream soup or a place (table) spoon. When a tablespoon is placed in position #1 it may be for a hearty soup, or a consommé, melon, or at breakfast for cereal.
The second spoon (2) is to be used only for dessert; it can be placed above the plate space, with the handle facing to the right. Yes, informally a teaspoon has been seen used for dessert. It does not make it etiquette.
In formal service, this is a place spoon. A fork to be used with a dessert spoon may be placed below it handle facing to the left.
In a maid-less place setting, the third spoon (3) is (a teaspoon) usually used for something served in a teacup. It may be placed to the left of the cream soup spoon, or to the right of the last knife when no other spoon is used. This can be the exception to the rule, “Go from the outside in. It could be omitted from the place setting, until later, when the item requiring it in brought in.
Next to each place setting you may place a piece of signature candy. In public, when appropriate, you could get the candy (from the counter) on the way in.
A Party Favor
A party favor: a small (return) gift bag “of party loot” is to be given to inspire the remembrance of an event – (especially a dinner party,) or as a gesture of thanks for a gift or attendance; it could be placed next to each place setting, or under each chair.
Price Points for Restaurant Menus
Key:
$ 5-15
$$ 16-25
$$$ 26-50
$$$$ 50-+
$$$$ 50-+
Polished Table Manners Notes to Self
Before eating at a meal where you will be viewed, you can use that two for one burger coupon. Eating is not to be the reason for the meeting. One way to eat, the way to show care is to eat a little something before getting there.
Maintain your cover: place setting for one, or establish one in symmetry. A cover is to be free of books, a hat, a backpack technology, and personal effects. Throughout the meal; avoid adding personal items to it. Consider your cell phone as you would a gun. Keep it holstered (off of the table) and know everyone has one. Personal items can be placed on a spare chair. Leave the centerpiece alone. Avoid eating out of a container or bucket when you can ask for a plate. Avoid choosing plastic flatware over a metal fork and knife.
Know the number and menu order of courses in a meal. Order something easy to eat when you can; know how to eat “Chicken” with a knife and a fork. Pre-study menus online or on site. Practice eating difficult items at home. There will come a time you will need this skill. Look for food to be served (counter-clockwise) from the left (leaving,) and plates to be removed right (retrieving). Say, “May I” “Please” “Bless you” “Thank you” and “Welcome” where appropriate. Pass items to the right where applicable. Take small amounts of food. Eat in courses versus eating in piles. Avoid taking too little, or too much, or more in visual calories than those dining around you. Try a little of everything unless restricted by religion, health, or culture.
Wait for most everyone to be served before beginning eating.
(Sit up straight. Sit with a flat back; we use to do that. Sit one fist away from the table. If anything drops it will fall on your napkin. Avoid duck and chuck: stop ducking your head down to get to your food. Lift your neck up. You can load and lock the next portion at the hand rest position; your wrist is to be in contact with the edge of the table. Lift when ready. Bring food to you
Know price points for restaurant menus. If you are a guest at a meal, you can ask your host what he/she recommends. This can help you determine the price range and guidelines on what to order. The person who issues the invitation will pay for the meal. (But to remind, at some point there is to be reciprocity in kind.)
When filling a plate: take small amounts of food. (Practice eating in courses versus eating in piles.) Try a little of everything unless restricted by religion, health, or culture.
Know the Standard USA Meal Order of Service Appetizer, Soup Fruit Juice or Melon, Fish, Intermezzo, Main Course, Salad, Dessert. A bowl of soup is to rest on an underlying plate.
Optionally have a money clip: dollars for tips. Bills for tips are to be crisp. Tipping 15 -20% of the bill minus tax or twice tax. The art of palming is to be mastered.
Polished Table Manners -Eat in an Accepted Style: Eat in the American Style in cultures where people avoid eating with the left hand. Eat in the Continental style, where culturally appropriate.
Sit up straight. Keep your hands above the table. You can rest the heels of your hands on the edge of the table. Take small amounts of food. Cut items in only one direction, one or two pieces at a time. You may eat only one thing at a time. Avoid eating too little, too much, or too fast, or acting as if the meal is to be your last. When at a loss as to how to eat a particular dish, look to the person who made or ordered it. You can ask, "How am I to eat this?" The lesson most likely will begin with a smile.
Time the opening of your mouth to just coincide with the arrival of an implement to it. Close your mouth around the edge of any implement placed in it. Chew each portion twenty-four times, with your mouth closed, and saver each bite. Time ingestion: taste buds live and digestion begins in the mouth, not the stomach – yes that’s right. At the seventeenth bite, experience food taste explosions. When you can no longer hear your teeth chewing food then that’s the time to swallow and to take another bite. Avoid chewing with your mouth open. "It is disturbing and annoying.” Make as little noise as possible. Take a hand rest often.
Rest the heels of your hands on the edge of the table, without loading a food item. Continentally, you can talk with a knife and fork in your hands. Keep them low. You can rest your elbows on the table - in between courses.
Know the Continental rest position for flatware. Pace yourself. Make as little noise as possible. You can rest your elbows on the table - in between courses. (Continental style, you can talk with a knife and fork in your hands. Keep them low.) Place your implements in the rest position for the style in which you are eating, anytime you want.
Pace yourself. Eat each course in such a manner as to finish it along with the person to your right. A host or hostess is to eat at a pace to keep company with the slowest guest. – You can listen to digestion.
Avoid sharing food even at a request. Even if done correctly you could still fail this test. Avoid seconds in any place, or home, not your own. Leave your telephone on vibrate, in a pocket, out of sight, and ready to exchange contact information. If you must leave the table, do so between courses, where possible.
In public, leave a little something of each course on your plate, and of each drink in each glass. Place food not eaten in an appropriate section. Eating is not to be the reason for the meeting.
Each course plate (and centerpiece) is to be left in a picture ready condition. When a course is finished
1. Flatware is to be placed in the finished position for the style in which you are eating. The flatware that was used is to be removed with the plate. Real trash can be placed under the left section of the plate and taken with the plate.
2. Leave each course plate in position until it is removed by a waitperson or replaced by the next plate. Look for the plate to be removed from the right (retrieving).
3. Avoid helping: passing your plates, unless asked, even when you use to wait tables. At dinner is not the place to display this trait. Both the plate and flatware can be passed to the hostess when you are requested to do so. This may be done at a maid less meal. The used plate and attending flatware could then be placed on the bottom shelf of a roll-in cart. You can take a plate to a side table or tray when it is suggested that you do so or at the lead of the host or hostess. This might be done at a breakfast or during a buffet meal.
Until a plate gets to the trash, it is to be kept in a condition to receive seconds. Each plate removed from the right is to be replaced with a fresh plate. The new plate is to be set, served from the left (leaving it). The plate for the last course is to be left center the place setting with the flatware used with it placed in the finished position.
When you are finished eating, avoid stacking plates or pushing a plate away from you. This is more a signal that you used to work as a waitperson and that you still want to help. Leave the plate in position. The table is not the place to revisit these fond memories.
Avoid passing your trash, or making a plate a place for trash: a napkin is not to end on a plate.
Each beverage glass used for a meal is to be left in the place setting position for it unless otherwise directed. Avoid making a glass a place for trash. A napkin is not to end in a glass.
The finished position for a napkin is in a mock fold set to the left of the place setting unless otherwise described. Practice and the napkin you get may start to be made of fabric.
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