Standard USA Menu – Order of Courses
The traditional standard United States of America menu, no matter how formal, consists of no more than five (four) courses. You can check this with the White House. Practice eating in courses versus eating in piles.
1. An appetizer might precede or substitute as a first course. It can be an amuse-bouche: a bit size appetizer provided by a chef at no cost to the patron. It may be an on menu appetizer. As a rule, the first course is to be soup. It can be fruit-juice or melon. The first course can be omitted. Avoid serving rolls or sliced bread and butter or olive oil as an intended first course.
2. The second course can be a fish, with maybe a potato item, or at lunch, it may be an egg dish. It could be omitted.
3. The third or main course (sometimes called the entrée in restaurants) (or le plat principal: the main plate) is to be a slice of roasted meat (a Roti de..,) a fowl, or a vegetable item, and two vegetable side items. (Informally one side item may be a starch item.) At least one non-meat main course item is to be included in each menu offered for a group.
4. The fourth course might be a green salad with cheese. * Salad served before the main course stems from what I call a Mickey D’s mentality: greet guest within 30 seconds, give each something to drink within three minutes, and something to eat within seven: salad! C’est tres gourmet - not really. The drink before you eat is an aperitif and something to eat before the main course can be a consommé.
The purpose of a salad is to push the main course away. This course may be served in lieu of a third course. It may be omitted in favor of dessert.
5. The fifth or last course is to be dessert. Coffee can be served with dessert, after it, or omitted entirely. What is served in each course may change with personal preference and pallet of each Chef. In the United States of America, this is the main course frame. Where allowed and appropriate, to each dessert you can add or have added cookies bought during a fundraiser such as chocolate cookies with pink M & Ms in them made and purchased in support of the cure for breast cancer. You may add a few chocolate covered mint cookies, or chocolate stripped coconut cookies, acquired in support of a scout or as part of giving back.
A Place Setting for One A Cover
One dining facility is to have dinner napkins, metal flatware, china plates, stemmed glasses, and cups and saucers. The line to the table can lead to a place setting for one person; it is called a cover; it is to be contained in an area fifteen inches up from the table edge and twelve inches on each side from the center of each person. Items in a place setting are to be set based on a likely menu: which courses will be served and when. “A cover is a road map for a meal.” It is your job to maintain a cover or to establish one.
A Place Setting for One – A Cover w/o a Spoon
1. A folded napkin, six letters (C-E-N-T-E-R,) is to be placed center a place setting or plate in absence of a first course. For special occasions, it can be a dinner napkin seventeen to twenty-two inches square folded in a signature fold.
It may be placed to the left of the forks, untouched by them, when a first course is to be in place. (I do not know where the practice of placing a fork atop a napkin got started; perhaps in a café when table sanitation was suspect or outside where there was a lot of wind.) A course - also six letters can be preset center a place setting. It may be omitted and be brought in to the table.
2. Flatware is to be placed approximately one inch up from the edge of the table or placemat evenly spaced and in symmetry.
The fork, four letters (L-E-F-T,) is to be placed to the left of the plate space. It can be placed tines up or tines down.
The place (or meat) knife, five letters (R-I-G-H-T,) is to be placed to the right of the plate space blade facing toward the center.
A place knife is to accompany a place fork for all meals except a buffet meal. It can be placed for one as for all other meals. It may be placed next to the fork to the right for a buffet meal, but why?
Each spoon is to be placed to the right of the last knife bowl up or down to match the fork(s).
When the table is correctly set, first all the forks knives are set, then the number one spoon for soup (usually) is placed to the right of the last knife, set bowl-up or bowl-down to match the fork(s). (You get the idea.) (The rule has always been, “Go from the outside in - in kind.”
The number two spoon for dessert is set above the place setting and the number three spoon for coffee is omitted from the setting, except in a commercial setting or at a maidless meal.
The water glass, five letters, (R-I-G-H-T,) is to be set in place above the right tip of the knife. Yes, that is your glass for water.
A water glass is to be set in cover whenever entertaining company. (Now, you can add another glass diagonally to the right of it for whatever you serve for “wine.”) Each is to be stemmed when dining at night.
Napkin Rules
A napkin is to be used to signal when eating is to begin. It is to be picked up at the lead of the hostess or senior person at the table. This is the indicator that others at table are to do so. Even at a dinner for two.
1. When seated at a table, a napkin is to be picked up, folded in half, and placed or replaced under the table onto your lap fold side towards you, prior to eating or drinking anything. It can be placed on your lap quartered for breakfast and for Continental or fast food, or in a three quarter fold the long way for dinner.
2. One corner of the napkin is to be used to correct conditions at table disturbed by the act of eating. Gently rub the tips of your fingers against the corner of one to remove foodstuffs collected during the course of eating. This corner could be folded under before using it again.
3. One corner of the napkin can be used to blot (touch) the mouth gently prior to taking a sip (pour) of any beverage. The courtesy of napkin use is asked: to keep your grease off the glass and to give your food time to pass.
4. A napkin is to remain on your lap as long as you continue to eat or to drink at a table. When standing or leaving a table temporarily, your napkin is to be placed on your chair. Some like to place it atop a book.
5. At the end of a meal, at the lead of the hostess or the senior person, the napkin is to be placed in a mock fold to the left (leaving side) of your place setting. The rule: a napkin is not to end on a plate.
A napkin is to look within reason as it did at the beginning even when it is made of paper. The person closest to doing this wins this napkin game, and may graduate to getting and using a fabric one. Either way, you are only to get one napkin. The secret is to use only one corner of one. In a commercial dining room, a napkin can be placed on your chair, when you stand to greet a person who has stopped to visit your table. It may be kept there until a senior man asks you to, "Please, be seated," or until a woman leaves. You could omit standing when you are visited by a man or woman who is working there unless the person is also a close friend. In a private home, a napkin that is dropped is to be retrieved and continued in use. Nonchalantly, get it back. When a napkin is dropped on the floor in a commercial dining room, it is time for a replacement. It can be retrieved, but it is no longer to be used above the table. The host is to let the server know that a new one is now required. A napkin can be placed into a ring and set to the right side of your place setting: indicating that you are done and will be attending the next meal, or to the left to get a fresh one. The fact that your napkin ring is distinctive from all others ensures you will get the same napkin at the next feeding. In the United States of America, the napkin has been seen used to surrender a place setting; lifted up, waded, and tossed center the plate as if to say, "See I am done." It can sometimes be seen opened up, and spread out over a plate as a sign of, “Dead plate.” These are practices from people who do not often get to use fabric napkins and from which I hope you are now rescued. Everyone invited to a table deserves a better fate than expecting a napkin and being given a paper towel. But the hostess needs to know that you know the rules for handling one.
Handling a Napkin
A napkin can be tucked at the neck by any person eating a full lobster dinner or sitting next to someone who is trying to, especially when lobster bibs have been omitted. It may be placed at the neck of anyone eating on an airplane; practical, not etiquette. If you’re wearing a tie, this beats throwing the tips over your shoulder. At all other times, a napkin is to be placed on a lap from under a table.
A napkin can be used to pick up a piece of meat you dropped on your host's floor. Yes, if a replacement piece is not offered you can eat the one dropped, (but only at a host's home.) You can starve anywhere.
In a commercial dining room, a napkin is to be used to cover something that dropped on a floor; leave both there. Ask for a new napkin. A service person can bring a new one. This person can use the napkin to lift up whatever it was that was dropped. When you are the host, tip this person as if you are grateful.
A napkin may be used by a server to fold it into a fancy fold to present you with mints and your check. If no other service was preformed, provide your usual tip. In food service, everyone deserves at a minimum, a napkin. It can be used to practice for a dinner party and to distinguish its use from a paper towel.
While a napkin may be used to crumb a table and to hold under a plate held in the left-hand on the way to the trash can. Even a paper napkin deserves a better fate than being thrown onto a plate or stuffed into a glass.
Avoid making a plate a place for trash: a napkin is not to end on a plate. Avoid passing your trash.
Each glass used for a meal is to be left in the place setting position for it. Avoid making a glass a place for trash. A napkin is to end in a mock fold to the left of a place setting.
Water at Table
When a guest is to be at table a water glass is to be set at each setting as a sign of hospitality. When under a roof “Water for here” is to be served in a glass. The water glass is to be set to the right of the plate space above the tip of the knife.
Make an OK sign with both hands. Where you see the "d" that drink is yours. Avoid making the OK sign in public at any time. For each guest, this is their glass.
When a cold beverage is to be served in addition to water, a water glass can be used for it or a glass specifically named for the beverage to be served may be added to the right of the water glass. Stemmed glassware is for dinner. It can be used during the day. Stemless glassware may be used only during the day.
In a private home, each water goblet is to be filled ¾ full prior to the time people come to the table. In a commercial dining room, water is to be served, after people are seated, from the right.
In informal service, water can be provided when requested and given in a ceramic glass or a paper glass. Under a roof, avoid asking for and or using a lid or a straw. At some point, omit the Sippy glass, and risk that the drink might not tip.
Before taking a drink of any beverage eating implements are to be placed in the rest position for the style in which you are eating. Pat or blot your mouth with the corner of your napkin and return it to your lap.
Remember the sign; beverages are to be taken up from the right side using the right hand. A water glass is to be picked up by the stem or the base, and with elbow down and in, taken to the mouth, and a sip (pour) of water is to be taken. The rest and finished position for the glass is in the table setting position. At a table, avoid placing a napkin under a water glass.
In a private home, the water glass can be refilled at the table, by a server, or guests from a pitcher on the table or the hostess can offer it from a pitcher on a sideboard. In a commercial dining room, the water glass can be refilled by a server without being lifted from the table, but usually not more than twice.
Something to Drink at Table
In informal service, something to drink can be provided when requested and given in a ceramic glass or a cup. Avoid asking for and or using a lid or a straw. At some point, omit the Sippy cup and risk that the drink might not tip.
Before taking a drink of any beverage eating implements are to be placed in the rest position for the style in which you are eating. Pat or blot your mouth with the corner of your napkin and return it to your lap. A water glass is to be picked up by the stem with the right hand, and with elbow down and in, taken to the mouth, and a sip (pour) of water is to be taken.
The rest and finished position for the glass is in the table setting position. At a table, avoid placing a napkin under a water glass.
In a private home, the water glass can be refilled at the table, by a server, or guests from a pitcher on the table or the hostess can offer it from a pitcher on a sideboard.
In a commercial dining room, the water glass can be refilled by a server without being lifted from the table. This service may be requested not more than twice.
Which Drinks’ Mine
It is my wish to assist you in locating the drink which is yours and knowing which drink is mine.
1. “With each hand make an OK sign.
2. Place each hand on the table.
3. Left to right – where you see the “b” is the side for your bread. Where you see “d” is the side for your drink.”
4. To the subject say, “Good night.” That glass to your right is yours. This one is mine.
Avoid making the OK sign in public at other times; remember the sign; beverages are to be taken up from the right side using the right hand.
Avoid adding a straw or lid to any glass “For here” to be used inside. They are usually used for drinks outside. Straws can be used in a container or can anywhere. You will never see a straw in a drink in a bar, in a movie; even then it would not be etiquette.
Between drinking, there is the “c” you are responsible to maintain, your cover, in symmetry.
To Take a Drink
When at table, place your eating implements in the rest position for style in which you are eating. Pat the napkin to your lips and place it back on your lap. Then, elbows down and in, take a drink. Avoid being at table drink in one hand and napkin or food in the other.
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