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Harold Almon Etiquette Coach
Be at Ease School of Etiquette Austin
Own formal business evening clothing. Know when, why, and how to wear each set. Full Dress: "White Tie," "a Dress Suit," or more casually "Tails," is to be worn when an engraved, or handwritten invitation specifies, "White Tie" or "Decorations," in the lower right hand corner.
This is Ultra Formal Evening Clothing. You can wear tails anytime you receive an engraved invitation. You may elect to not.
1. The jacket is to be cut short in front with two long "Tails" in back. Each is to extend to a point two inches below the break in the knee.
2. It is to have Peak lapels. Lapels are to be made of satin or grosgrain. It can be worn with decorations: military or civilian medals awarded for service to a grateful nation. Ultra formally, it is to be worn with a white shirt with a pique bosom, and a wing tip collar, covered by a pique waist vest: the place for a pocket timepiece.
The bottom button on this vest is to be buttoned. This is a uniform of State and is to worn by officials only when entertaining Royalty.
3. A white pique bow tie to match shirt bosom and waistcoat is to be worn in front of the wing tip collar. (A black tie worn in front of any wing tip collar is a deviation, allowed only for the social good.)
4. Socks are to be black or blue to match the pants in silk or in a silky synthetic.
5. Evening pants are to be worsted to match the coat and are to be without a cuff. Each is to have a narrow double strip of dull black silk or satin grosgrain, faille, or seen less often, a braid, running down the length of each side.
These evening pants are to be held up by white braces, and always worn with them, and hemmed so as to provide a slight break when placed atop your shoes.
6. Shoes are to be black pumps with or without flat grosgrain bows, or evening oxfords without toecaps. Here avoid the black patent leather lace-ups.
The Top Hat, Cape, and White Gloves, all correct are seen less and less. The handkerchief has survived and is to be worn without extreme points in it.
Tails are to be worn at an official function where you have an official function. At business banquets, huge private banquet where you are not an official, you can slide by in black tie. If not a blue suit can be an acceptable substitute for formal night clothing. (Oww, I am not sure I meant to say that.) Once in your life, you deserve a White Tie night.
Black Tie A Tux A Tuxedo SHH…
You can elect just to buy Black tie, or an evening suit for the night; each to be
1. In the color black or mid-night blue in wool, wool silk barathea or wool-mohair barathea. and the jacket is to be tailless. It can have one, two, or three buttons if you must. It can have peak lapels. It may have notched lapels. A single-breasted jacket could have a shawl lapel. A shawl lapel is to be avoided by the very young. It is have jetted pockets – no flaps.
2. A white evening shirt can be pleated, a Marcella bib front, or plain, and have a spread collar. It may have collar stays or stiffeners. It could have a double cuff.
3. Socks are to be black as listed.
4. Trousers are to have a double stripe as listed.
5. A vest coat long enough to cover the top of the pants, or a silk cummerbund is to be worn. A cummerbund is to be placed around the waist so that the pleats face upwards and can catch crumbs. (Avoid colored cummerbunds with matching bow ties, unless your special someone insists.)
6. Shoes are to be black evening shoes - patent leather shoes are allowed.)
7. Evening clothing is completed with a self tie bow tie. That fits width of the lapels. Learn how to tie and to wear a bow tie. The real joy of this is in undoing it.
Near the end of the event, you can undo your tie. Let it hang from your neck. Better yet, let it hang from your partner's neck. Look around and smile. First, ensure all senior people have left the event. Ensure your bow tie is the color black, dark blue, or the only exception red.
8. An evening jacket can have a plain white, loosely folded, handkerchief placed in it. Sharply pointed folds are to be avoided.
9. Jewelry for formal clothing is to consist of a signet or signature ring and/or a marriage ring. Cuff links are to be made of gold, platinum, mother of pearl, or onyx in descending order of preference. Shirt studs are to be made of mother of pearl, or onyx. When you are older, and know when you can, you may omit shirt studs: (when you are the host.) Avoid rushing this. Leave your wallet. Get a money clip.
Waistcoat studs may be made of gold, mother of pearl or covered with the material of the waistcoat, and worn as required. Omit wearing diamonds and/or other glittering stones as well as a wristwatch. You can get a pocket timepiece; this is cool old’ school. Learn to open and to close one silently.
The bottom button, when there is more than one, is left undone, on all but a uniform. If no dress code is indicated on an invitation, a suit or jacket and tie could be the order of the night.
Evening clothes can be worn any day after six, except Sunday, and/or except on the first or last day of a shipboard voyage. In a home, a host may wear a smoking jacket with his evening trousers and shirt. In public he could wear his evening shirt without studs. A dinner jacket is not correctly worn in church or on a Sunday stroll; for one of these you may be forgiven.
Evening clothes are to be worn when black tie is requested.
Avoid referring to formal evening clothing as a Tux, or a Tuxedo. Both terms refer to a place: Tuxedo Park, in Orange County, New York. It is rumored that it was there the word was first used and was forever connected with evening clothing.
As the story goes, Mr. Griswold Lorillard, the younger son of Pierre Lorillard, attended the Autumn ball there, in a tailless evening coat. He was considered a smash, and a new word was born to cite the place where the coat was worn. None the less, the suit is to be called black tie, or formal evening clothing. Remember this in respect to Mr. Pierre Lorillard, and more correctly in spite of this story.
You can get or omit the silk scarf; it is a bit “Theatre,” but I like it. Outside of the United States of America the dress is called a dress suit or evening dress.
Formal Day Clothing
You can own formal day clothing. You may just rent it. Know when, why, and how to wear each set.
The Morning Coat or Cutaway is Ultra-Formal day clothing.
1. The jacket is black or gray, short in front and curves from the waist to about six inches above the knees in the back.
2. It is to have Peak lapels trimmed in satin or grosgrain. It is to include a wing tip collared shirt, and a checked or striped ascot with a pearl stickpin, and a light gray or dark waistcoat,
3. Pants are to be striped, without a strip, and without a cuff. They are to be held up by braces, and hemmed to provide a slight break when placed atop your shoes. It can be completed with optional top hat, spats, and gray gloves.
The Stroller is Formal Day Clothing
1. The jacket is charcoal gray shaped like a blazer and is tailless. It can have notched lapels. It is worn with a white shirt with a turned-down collar, a four in hand tie, and a light gray or dark vest.
2. Trousers are to be gray and black striped, without a strip, and without a cuff.
3. Shoes are to be black.
The White Dinner Jacket
A white dinner jacket is formal afternoon or evening clothing in summer. The rules for it are generally, the same as for evening clothing, with the exception. It can be worn for dinner at home or for informal dinner parties at another’s home. You can wear your winter jacket in summer. You may not look or be as comfortable.
1. It can be worn before six and take an event into night.
2. Trousers are to be only black.
3. A dinner jacket is worn usually with a cummerbund.
Formal clothes are always to be worn by the men (the groom and the best man) who participate in ultra formal and formal weddings. There is not a dress requirement specified for the father of the bride. For him, and for the other guests who are men, a dark business suit (blue,) or a jacket and tie, could be the order of the bride.
At other times guests can wear formal clothes whenever principles will be wearing them. However a dark blue suit may be an acceptable substitute for formal morning or afternoon clothes.
In England, A Black tie Wedding is rarely seen, there are no weddings at night. There are in Scotland reference Four Weddings and a Funeral.
A Boutonniere
You may elect to wear a flower in your jacket lapel buttonhole. Ask for, and refer to this item as, a boutonniere. One was once required wear for a gentleman's suit every day. Wearing one now is optional. At best, it offers an acceptable opportunity to stand out in a crowd.
1. A white boutonniere can be worn with "White tie."
2. For every day, you may elect to use a variety of flowers. You could use a gardenia, Williams's bleeding hearts, or white jasmine.
A groom might wear a flower from his bride's bouquet: two stems of lily of the valley, or a sweetheart rose, as his boutonniere.
3. For groomsmen, there are such flowers as freesias, stephanotises, gardenias, or tuberoses. Everyday flowers such as rosebud, bachelor button, hyacinths, or a sprig of baby's breath, can be used for a boutonniere.
Avoid wearing a red carnation unless it is mother's day, or unless you become a Maitre d' Hotel, or a floorwalker.
4. Place the flower stem in the lapel buttonhole. Then place the stem into a boutonniere veil that has been placed in the loop of thread on the back of the lapel on a well-made suit. Your boutonniere can be pinned on the back of a lapel just below the buttonhole. It may be pinned to the front of a non-functional buttonhole as a last resort.
5. Discard your boutonniere before it starts to wilt. Get a new one from your garden or from your florist.
