Outclass the Competition
by Harold Almon
by Harold Almon
When passing someone in business, first provide a greeting appropriate for the time of day. Say, “Good morning,” or “Good afternoon.” Know that “Good" is normally said only in business. "Good evening," is normally said only by staff to senior people. "Good night," is said only when dismissing oneself from someone else. Each phrase without the word “Good” can be said by peers. Use each, try. With peers, you can say, "Hello," “Peace,” “Out,” and “Later.”
The reply to a greeting is to be in kind. Formally, people of about the same social position can perform a greeting by saying, "How do you do?" The reply is to be "How do you do?" Avoid messing up a perfectly good “How do you do,” with a “How are you?” Informally you can say, “How are you?” The reply “How are you?” or “Very well thank you. And (how are) you?” It can be "Miserable, but thank you for asking; (and you?") People might want to see if you are listening or just need some company. More informally the reply to “What’s up?” has been seen to be “What’s up?” Sometimes a senior person will hear an informal greeting, and remain silent. (This is just an observation.) (“How do you do?”) You may say, “What’s up?” The reply is to be the same.
Acknowledge a need or a mishap in passing by saying, “Excuse me,” or “I beg your pardon.” (Avoid saying, “Pardon me.”) You can say, “I am sorry.”
Ask, “May I (we) get through please.” You can say, “After you,” “I yield,” “Please,” “I insist,” or informally, “Dance?” to let someone pass. Pass to the left. You can stay to the right. Motion with your left hand, smile, and allow the person to pass. After passing, or being allowed a request say, "You're welcome," or "Thank you," as appropriate. Learn to say, “Nice to see you,” and/or “Looks nice.” A person who is reluctant to say anything in passing is to learn how to nod.
When someone is being offensive, the best defense can sometimes be a smile, followed by a “Is there a problem here?" “You doing alright today: (street code for “What the hell?” or “You having a good day?” You can say “You O.K?” or “Can I help you.” You may say, “Good day, Sir. I say, Good day.” Be prepared to defend yourself or to duck. The best defense may be a smile, followed by, "I see," "I understand," "How can I help you," or with an "And you have a nice day." You could add, "That’s not very well brought up behavior." You might say, “Hey man, can you help me with the language. I said please.” When someone is being intrusive is has been seen said, “I am fine here, Sir,” or “I do not mean to keep you,” “May the peace of the lord be with you.” When you hear a request for, “Spare change,” what you do is up to you. When refusing an offer for charity, you are to say, “I am sorry.” When refusing an offer of an item you can press your open hand to your heart, tilt your head slightly aside and say, “Thank you.”
Verbal communication can begin with three of the four Ws or an H: When, Where, What, or How. Avoid asking why.
International Non-verbal Communication
Be careful of what you say non-verbally. Avoid signing the backward "V" for victory (“I still have my (bow) fingers,”) thumbs up or the sign for "O.K." Outside of the USA, each is considered vulgar and/or an insult in more than one culture. Signing a cross might be favored and used in lieu of signing a single finger.
Words that a woman may say better not to be believed, “Please don’t get up,” “Please sit down,” It is OK, I can manage,” or “Go ahead, I’ll be alright.” You have a firm duty of care; until the world can see your attempted efforts have been rebuffed enough to maybe consider thinking about forgiving you.
